The Jake Food Starter Box

Last week I found a post about Jake Food and knew I had to order some. I placed an order for a starter box, which comes includes:

1 Oaty Vanilla Shake

1 Forest Fruit Shake

1 Banana Shake

3 Bars

1 shaker bottle

The first thing I noticed is packaging, really great branding all around from the box to the shaker. The shaker seems to be really good quality and I have not used it over 10 times for various brands of shake.

Nutritionally it looks great, with each shake providing exactly 1/3 of your days needs down the chart and 667 calories per shake. The main ingredients are Pea Protein, maltodextrin, and Oats.

That said, I don’t love the actual Jake shake. The first flavour I tried was the Oaty Vanilla… I prepared it according to the directions in the shaker, and the result was a very VERY thick shake with a chemically-sweet-plastic taste reminiscent of old school soylent powder. The texture had noticeable grains, and was certainly the most textured lent I have tried thus far. I didn’t quite finish it, half way through I had to put it away and someone else drank it. They didn’t love it either, comparing it to metallic pancake batter.

The forest fruit flavour is better, sort of tangy cranberry taste. It is supposed to be like blueberry and raspberry, and I can totally see it tasting kinda like that. The weird chemical taste is hidden more in this one, not completely, but enough that I finished the whole thing. The texture was still super thick even though I added 200ml extra water to this one to avoid the thickness. I don’t know if it was the fact that I did this, but I would still like the fruit flavour to be stronger to mask the not nice flavours. Idk what to do about the sandy thick texture…

 

I did not drink the banana flavour, and I don’t intend to until I run out of my other products and really need it. I really wish I could recommend this product because I myself wanted so badly to like it, but I don’t, and I can’t.

Then there are the Vitamin bars, which are better than the shakes but by a very small margin. The texture of both bars is very play- dough like, with flakes of oat throughout providing a texture that is… okay. Not bad. But like I’m not going out of my way to get these things. No sir.

The coffee mocha bar tastes like black liquorice with whispers of coffee and chocolate taste. Mostly it is quite bitter and it is noticeable how much the bar lacks sweetness of any kind.

The forest fruit bar is better but still just not delicious. The pea protein is much more prominent of a flavour in this product, which I didn’t notice in any of the shakes or the coffee bar. After I eat a bar my mouth tastes like I just ate some French Canadian pea soup!

The cost of the Jake Box, all in, was $52.28. Broken down, that’s $34.20 for the box itself at $18.08 at the Canadian Border. In small amounts this is really expensive but after calculating my customs fees plus the cost of larger amounts it seems that¬†it would cost about $470 per month to live completely off Jake, all in.

All in all, Jake is good if you are looking for a shake that is a large portion of your day’s calories and you don’t mind if it tastes not so nice. The bars are better but still, I think there are so many more companies providing tastier products and better prices for the time being. I will order and review again when Jake makes any updates to their recipe.

LENTS RANKED

  1. Hol Food
  2. Soylent
  3. Jake

Coming Soon

  • Huel
  • Ketolent
  • Queal
  • Super Body Fuel
  • Bertrand
  • Biolent

 

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Strain Report: Granddaddy Purple

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GDP¬†is an amazing Indica with intense sedating effects. Huge numbers in both THC and CBD. The colour is so crazy purple to the eye you almost won’t believe it. I have had the chance to consume this strain as flower, edible, and shatter extract, and I keep coming back. As a frequent sufferer of anxiety and depression, this strain can knock me out even from the worst of times. This is so valuable to me as a heavy heavy smoker because most of the time, even the sleepiest of weeds can’t actually put me down because of my tolerance. Granddaddy P can without fail.

Genetics

  • Purple Urkle
  • Big Bud

Smell 8/10

Smells like artificial grape. It has a very sweet, sticky, ‘Big League Chew’ gum smell to it. Not unlike a Grapple, which is just the weirdest fruit. Overall this smells super sweet and of berries and grape.

Density 9/10

Always tight and uniform, I find that with a lot of ‘purple’ strains.

Smoke 7/10

The smoke is a lot. I won’t lie to you, every time I have had this strain I have been taken back by how I have to reduce my portion sizes to accommodate the thick smoke this bud provides. This is likely why it is so popular as a shatter or extract, which reduce the stress on your lungs compared to GDP bud. Be careful with your portion sizes when packing bowls.

Effect 8/10

This strain is strong, sleepy as anything. You will not do anything.

The rise is quick so be prepared, and it goes hard. I usually get pretty snacky with this one, but due to its sedating effects it usually is more of an in bed binge followed by a long nap. An excellent choice for people who suffer from anxiety and need nighttime relief. Very drowsy. Do not smoke this unless you want to sleep, IMO. I don’t recommend if you are seriously depressed, this doesn’t help that at all.

As An Edible 8/10

As an edible this strain is even more potent than when smoked. Do not eat this strain unless you are an experienced user or are very careful with your dosing.

As an edible this strain is great for sleep due to its high content of both THC and CBD. Expect GDP edibles to rise slightly faster than usual edibles or oils.

Overall 40/50

I recommend you seek out and purchase this strain if you need help sleeping. This is a great strain for sleep but also a very one trick pony.

OOCH

http://www.instagram.com/oochco

 

Strain Report: Sugar Shack

Sugar Shack is an Indica dominant hybrid boasting a strangely sedating creativity and crazy munchies. As a sufferer of anxiety and depression hardcore, this strain provides times of quiet clarity when they are most needed.

Genetics

  • Northern Lights #1
  • Hawaiian

Smell 7/10

This strain has a sweet, forest smell. Pine and Spruce tree aromas, and an almost honey like sweetness in the aroma.

Density 9/10

As with all cannabis, it depends on the grower what your buds are going to look like. In general though this is a nice dense strain. I have personally purchased a single bud weighing in at 40 grams, all tightly packed and beautiful.

Smoke 7/10

Sweet, but a very rich, lung-cramping smoke. Be careful with your portion sizes when packing bowls. Even as a seasoned user I have pushed myself to wheezing with this strain.

Effect 8/10

This strain is strong as heck, sleepy as anything, and super creative. The rise is quick so be prepared, but once you are up it is very sooth and mellow. I have never noticed dry mouth or eyes from this strain. An excellent choice for people who suffer from anxiety and depression and need nighttime relief. Very drowsy, it’ll kick your ass.

There is a very weird duality with this strain because it makes me feel like creating music but also really knocks me out so I end up in this strange place where I create amazing sounds that make no sense.

Expect to have a massive creative rampage ending in a long nap.

As An Edible 8/10

As an edible this strain is even more potent than when smoked. Do not eat this strain unless you are an experienced user or are very careful with your dosing.

Overall 40/50

I highly recommend you seek out and purchase this strain. A beautiful addition to your pantry, this strain gives you creative clarity while preparing you for the nap of a lifetime.

OOCH

http://www.instagram.com/oochco

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