Queal Standard Steady Shakes: Taste Test

I stumbled upon Queal a few weeks ago, browsing the internet for a lent or liquid diet that would ship to Canada. I was super intrigued by their vast selection of flavours, so I quickly ordered one of each flavour available.

The first awesome thing I noticed was the Queal dashboard after you purchase. They go extensively into the impact that your Queal consumption makes on the environment, health, and your bank account!

These were my impact results from purchasing 8 complete days of food:

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The site also includes reordering reminders and subscription services that can save a few extra bucks.


Cost

My package arrived about a week later and I ended up with:

  • One x (3 servings)  Caffeinated Cola Kick 
  • One x Funky Forest Fruit
  • One x Awesome Apple Pie
  • One x Cool Chocolate
  • One x Super Strawberry
  • One x Banana Mania
  • One x Chocolate Hazelnut Happiness
  • One x Smooth Vanilla
  • One x Nuts and Sea Salt Go Bar was included for FREE 🙂
  • Free Shaker Bottle

Total Cost was $83 USD for Queal and shipping + $15 at customs= $98 or $12.3 USD/DAY

Total Cost was $108 CAD for Queal and shipping + $20 at customs= $128 or $16 CAD/DAY


Texture

I prepared these as per directions by adding 5 (yes, 5) scoops of Queal to 350ml of water.  All of these products have a similar texture so I will dress that as a whole now. The texture is not extremely smooth, but this is not in a bad way at all. There is a definite grit in the drink, but with the delicious flavour it almost adds something satisfying to each meal. About the same thickness as Soylent 2.0, but with the added fibrousness that isn’t for everyone, but I certainly enjoy. Texturally a bit similar to the previous Hol Food chocolate formula, but without any sinking bits like that old formula had, for anyone who had the chance to try that and knows what I mean… This would likely not be the product for you if you seek something ultra smooth like the newer Hol Food or even soylent 2.0, but is certainly for you if you don’t mind texture and seek variety. Now on to the tasting!


Taste

Awesome Apple Pie is a great flavour. This was the first one I tried, and I was truly surprised by the sweetness of this flavour. I mean, its apple pie, its supposed to be sweet so I’m not sure what i was expecting but it was a pleasant surprise compared to other less sweetened shakes. The texture of Queal compliments this flavour because the fibrousness gives the implication of a pie crust to the palate. Really good.

Banana Mania was less sweet than the apple pie but still sweeter than other shake brands. The banana flavour is really nice and this honestly just tastes like a bowl of oats with a banana in it. Super tasty, I might blent this one with the Cool Chocolate soon.

Speaking of chocolate, this flavour is alarmingly similar to old school Hol Food, but a bit sweeter, milkier, and generally just a really delicious cocoa taste.

Cola Kick was fun but really weird. Don’t get me confused here, I LOVE it. Its just so unlike anything I have had before. Maybe closest to a Coke float that melted? I don’t even know what to think about this one but it was limited time and now I can’t get more and I’m super bummed out about it.

Smooth Vanilla is your typical plain vanilla flavour. Not much so say about this flavour, I will mix it with other things to add punch.

Super Strawberry and Funky Forest Fruit taste like liquid versions of two flavours of Nutri-grain Bar, with the forest fruit having blueberry and cranberry notes while the strawberry has, well, strawberry notes. The oat flavour really pops in these two.

Chocolate Hazelnut Happiness was also a fun flavour. The cocoa flavour is really really nice and complimented the hazelnut flavour. My only change would be a slightly less artificial hazelnut flavouring as it tastes a bit more on the fake side. Really sweet and again, the texture complimented this one a lot.


Nutrition

Here’s some label shots so you can get a look at the ingredients and nutrients!

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…Essentially this stuff is based on Oats and Milk. Sounds great!

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Shaker Bottle

The Shaker bottle seems to be of great quality. It has a screen rather than a shaker ball. My only complaint is that the top is a screw cap and I 100% guarantee that I am going to lose the top…


The Bar

We also received one free Go Bar.

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The texture is very crunchy and chewy and satisfying, though I was not big on the taste. They weren’t kidding when they said salt. This is a very salty, nutty bar. If that is your thing, you will love this!

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Overall

I have really enjoyed my experience with Queal so far, and I am about to go place another order right now! Really awesome taste, and CRAZY VARIETY, not to mention a wonderful instagram team (shoutout to Jiska). All in all, this is amazing stuff and I think they may have me hooked.

…So how does it rank?

  1. Hol Food (New)
  2. Queal Steady
  3. Soylent 2.0
  4. Hol Food (Old)
  5. Jake Food

You guys need to try this stuff!

Austin (Ooch)


Strain Report: Alaskan Thunder Fuck

I finally found Alaskan Thunder Fuck! This is a sativa dominant hybrid that has quite a curious lineage and a super high THC content up to 25% THC, which is probably why it put me out $16 per gram.

Genetics

  • Unknown Sativa
  • Unknown Ruderalis
  • Afghani

Smell

This stuff smells really weird, there is a definite earthiness to it while still being very sweet, which makes it remind me of a dirt flavoured Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean. Very specific, I know, but that’s what I’m here for.

There is also a noticeable lemon rind after note in the aroma. Really beautiful stuff here.

Density

This is my first time having this stuff, and I did purchase AAAA grade flower, so this may not always be the case, but what a beautifully dense bud I got. It makes an audible ‘Crack’ as you break a piece away and put it into the grinder. Feels like a moon rock, almost. Crazy.

Smoke

Ok so this is a heavy smoke. Be ready for that, first. Expect an ammonia- sour flavour from this strain on the exhale. A touch citrusy with a strong piney mango and forest floor flavour (no, I have not licked a forest floor).

Effect

This strain snuck up on me, which I am not used to. One dose and I just started doing productive things and singing and having a nice day, whereas usually I am constantly needing to smoke to keep up my energy. The lady at the shop warned me that it is supposed to be snacky, though RIGHT NOW I am not experiencing that any more than your typical stuff.

With Alaskan Thunder Fuck you can expect extreme euphoria, strong mood elevation, and an increased appreciation for music. One small dose made me stop writing this review and go write a few new songs for a while… Similar to Pineapple Express in the way where it seems to encourage me to think outside the box. Extremely long lasting for me, I usually get 45 minutes off of a dose of cannabis, but in this case I was dosing every 2.5 hours! Amazing strength!

***Terpene information coming to my reviews soon!***

Overall

I need more of this stuff, what an absolute treat. I would recommend this to you any day, any time (except maybe night time). This is an amazing strain to have a fun, free day. Arguably the best sativa hybrid I have ever had. Must try.

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Wiz Khalifa Rolling Papers – Loud Pack 1 1/4 with Built in Tray, Tips and Poker – 3 Packs + Beamer Doob Tube

Strain Report: Tangerine Dream

Tangerine Dream is one of those strains that I buy every time I see it in the shop. An awesome sativa dominant hybrid for relieving pain without knocking you out. This is a super orange coloured, high THC plant. Difficult to grow, and usually pretty tricky to find, this strain is a must have for people who seek a daytime mood boost.

Genetics

  • G13
  • Afghani
  • Neville’s A5 Haze

Smell

Sweet marmalade and cotton candy aromas that take me back to memories of five alive juice boxes and orange crush soda. Really awesome freshness to it.

Density

I have seen this strain get pretty loose, but this is purely aesthetic. The plant, without perfect execution on the growers part, will produce buds that look like mids but smoke way better. I have seen a lot of people take a look at it and decide to buy something a bit prettier- big mistake, buddy. This stuff works a charm.

tangerine-dream

Photo from Greenrush

Smoke

This is one of those strains that actually tastes like its name. The smoke is sweet and fruity, easy to inhale, with no bitter aftertastes (I get this with a lot of lemon and citrus strains). Many strains have little to no taste when consumed by bong rather than rolled, though this strain has such a powerful flavour that you really get this bowl hit of oranges, so cool.

Effect

This is the perfect recreational strain. Tang Dream can give you the push out the door that you need, that bit of bliss that starts your day out right. It has such a worry-crushing, mood elevating effect, paired with it’s strong pain relief that it makes you live your whole day without getting stuck on the little things that would usually bog you down. A small amount of this strain can last you a very long time, making it a very worth the money strain.

***Terpene information coming to my reviews soon!***

Overall

I highly recommend you seek out and purchase this strain if you seek daytime pain relief, energy, or a treatment for depression and anxiety, especially depression. If you just want to have a good day, a little bit of Tangerine Dream might be just what you need.

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