Strain Report: Alaskan Thunder Fuck

I finally found Alaskan Thunder Fuck! This is a sativa dominant hybrid that has quite a curious lineage and a super high THC content up to 25% THC, which is probably why it put me out $16 per gram.

Genetics

  • Unknown Sativa
  • Unknown Ruderalis
  • Afghani

Smell

This stuff smells really weird, there is a definite earthiness to it while still being very sweet, which makes it remind me of a dirt flavoured Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean. Very specific, I know, but that’s what I’m here for.

There is also a noticeable lemon rind after note in the aroma. Really beautiful stuff here.

Density

This is my first time having this stuff, and I did purchase AAAA grade flower, so this may not always be the case, but what a beautifully dense bud I got. It makes an audible ‘Crack’ as you break a piece away and put it into the grinder. Feels like a moon rock, almost. Crazy.

Smoke

Ok so this is a heavy smoke. Be ready for that, first. Expect an ammonia- sour flavour from this strain on the exhale. A touch citrusy with a strong piney mango and forest floor flavour (no, I have not licked a forest floor).

Effect

This strain snuck up on me, which I am not used to. One dose and I just started doing productive things and singing and having a nice day, whereas usually I am constantly needing to smoke to keep up my energy. The lady at the shop warned me that it is supposed to be snacky, though RIGHT NOW I am not experiencing that any more than your typical stuff.

With Alaskan Thunder Fuck you can expect extreme euphoria, strong mood elevation, and an increased appreciation for music. One small dose made me stop writing this review and go write a few new songs for a while… Similar to Pineapple Express in the way where it seems to encourage me to think outside the box. Extremely long lasting for me, I usually get 45 minutes off of a dose of cannabis, but in this case I was dosing every 2.5 hours! Amazing strength!

***Terpene information coming to my reviews soon!***

Overall

I need more of this stuff, what an absolute treat. I would recommend this to you any day, any time (except maybe night time). This is an amazing strain to have a fun, free day. Arguably the best sativa hybrid I have ever had. Must try.

Getting Started Growing Cannabis

MORE STRAIN REPORTS:


Wiz Khalifa Rolling Papers – Loud Pack 1 1/4 with Built in Tray, Tips and Poker – 3 Packs + Beamer Doob Tube

How To Grow Turmeric Indoors

Here is a quick video I made about how I get my turmeric plants started!

For those who prefer it in text, the process is as follows:

  1. Soak turmeric root in water for 24 hours and leave in a warm, dark location until green spots or “eyes” have formed.
  2. Plant 1 inch deep in good potting soil (I use cactus soil)
  3. In 7-14 days you should have visible shoots coming off of your plant
  4. Transplant into an 18″ pot before the plant becomes root bound as this will prevent a good harvest.
  5. In 10 months,  harvest and enjoy your fresh turmeric!

Thanks for reading,

OOCH

Photo Source

The Jake Food Starter Box

Last week I found a post about Jake Food and knew I had to order some. I placed an order for a starter box, which comes includes:

1 Oaty Vanilla Shake

1 Forest Fruit Shake

1 Banana Shake

3 Bars

1 shaker bottle

The first thing I noticed is packaging, really great branding all around from the box to the shaker. The shaker seems to be really good quality and I have not used it over 10 times for various brands of shake.

Nutritionally it looks great, with each shake providing exactly 1/3 of your days needs down the chart and 667 calories per shake. The main ingredients are Pea Protein, maltodextrin, and Oats.

That said, I don’t love the actual Jake shake. The first flavour I tried was the Oaty Vanilla… I prepared it according to the directions in the shaker, and the result was a very VERY thick shake with a chemically-sweet-plastic taste reminiscent of old school soylent powder. The texture had noticeable grains, and was certainly the most textured lent I have tried thus far. I didn’t quite finish it, half way through I had to put it away and someone else drank it. They didn’t love it either, comparing it to metallic pancake batter.

The forest fruit flavour is better, sort of tangy cranberry taste. It is supposed to be like blueberry and raspberry, and I can totally see it tasting kinda like that. The weird chemical taste is hidden more in this one, not completely, but enough that I finished the whole thing. The texture was still super thick even though I added 200ml extra water to this one to avoid the thickness. I don’t know if it was the fact that I did this, but I would still like the fruit flavour to be stronger to mask the not nice flavours. Idk what to do about the sandy thick texture…

 

I did not drink the banana flavour, and I don’t intend to until I run out of my other products and really need it. I really wish I could recommend this product because I myself wanted so badly to like it, but I don’t, and I can’t.

Then there are the Vitamin bars, which are better than the shakes but by a very small margin. The texture of both bars is very play- dough like, with flakes of oat throughout providing a texture that is… okay. Not bad. But like I’m not going out of my way to get these things. No sir.

The coffee mocha bar tastes like black liquorice with whispers of coffee and chocolate taste. Mostly it is quite bitter and it is noticeable how much the bar lacks sweetness of any kind.

The forest fruit bar is better but still just not delicious. The pea protein is much more prominent of a flavour in this product, which I didn’t notice in any of the shakes or the coffee bar. After I eat a bar my mouth tastes like I just ate some French Canadian pea soup!

The cost of the Jake Box, all in, was $52.28. Broken down, that’s $34.20 for the box itself at $18.08 at the Canadian Border. In small amounts this is really expensive but after calculating my customs fees plus the cost of larger amounts it seems that it would cost about $470 per month to live completely off Jake, all in.

All in all, Jake is good if you are looking for a shake that is a large portion of your day’s calories and you don’t mind if it tastes not so nice. The bars are better but still, I think there are so many more companies providing tastier products and better prices for the time being. I will order and review again when Jake makes any updates to their recipe.

LENTS RANKED

  1. Hol Food
  2. Soylent
  3. Jake

Coming Soon

  • Huel
  • Ketolent
  • Queal
  • Super Body Fuel
  • Bertrand
  • Biolent

 

An Introduction To Kefir

Kefir is becoming quite popular in the drinkable ‘yogurt’ market. The problem most people encounter, however, is that they do not know exactly what it is. Who wants to drink this funky mystery water that their friend brewed. Once you are able to find that out, it will become much easier for you to decide whether or not this is the probiotic product for you.

What is Kefir?

Kefir is a type of probiotic beverage. The main ingredients of the beverage are  Kefir grains. These grains consist of bacteria as well as yeast. The term grains, is used symbolically. It does not consist of any actual grains, more these firm little clear or yellow gummy bear dudes just floating around in the fermenting tank. Super cute.

If you purchase these grains online, you can easily make your own kefir daily and save a TON. This stuff is usually pretty pricey.

The benefits of this beverage are plentiful. Below is a list of some benefits you can expect from water kefir to get you started with this funky drink.

Nutrition

It is often made from cows milk, coconut milk or almond milk. Since it can be made from non-dairy milk, lactose intolerant people can also have it. Also, obviously milk contains loads of protein, calcium, vitamin B12, magnesium which ensures that you are able to get quite a few nutrients when you’re drinking it. Additionally, it also consists of amino acids which are beneficial for the body.

Probiotics

Kefir is teaming with a variety probiotics which help you in improving your digestive system. Moreover, probiotics reduce inflammation in the body.

Bone Health:

Due to the presence of vitamin K2 in many of the bases used for kefir, bone health is claimed to be improved in long term consumers. This ensures that most of the people consuming it will not suffer from osteoporosis.

Acne

Kefir has been reported by many popular news outlets to have excellent effects on acne, especially in younger consumers.

Allergies

As it reduces inflammation, it also helps you in avoiding allergies altogether. This ensures that you are able to avoid such health problems to a greater extent.

If you want the benefits of Kefir without a dairy or dairy replacement, consider Water Kefir. It is made with sugar water and can be made into a slightly fizzy drink!

Overall, when you’re considering the benefits of Kefir, you will see a vast amount of upsides vs downsides. Consider consuming this beverage, and gain all of these health benefits. Also, since Kefir is naturally made, you can be sure that you will be able to consume it on a regular basis without any problems at all. You can even make it yourself! (Recipe Coming soon) Moreover, you will not be relying on any harmful ingredients in order to improve your health.

Photo Source

-Guest Post

First Impression: Hol Food

Last week I was browsing around for an alternative to my beloved yet estranged Soylent, when I came across Hol Food. Although I was saddened by the lack of a liquid pre mixed version, I went ahead and ordered a tub of 28 complete meals for $88.90 (a meal in this case is 1/4 of a days nutrition). With optimistic thoughts of a cheap, balanced diet on my mind, I waited.

Two Days later my package arrived. Fast, I know, but we are both in Toronto so honestly I should hope so. I opened my box excitedly only to notice that it expired… the next day?

Also, my scoop was in the bottom of the tub which just seemed unnecessarily lazy.

I messaged customer support and they took over a day to reply, but were very nice and told me that they had recently had some mislabelling happen, and if my scoop was blue (it was) the lot was good until January 2019. All good, but what a freaking roller coaster.

After sorting out the expiry and scooping of my new bucket-o-food, I blended one up. 2 Scoops of powder into the Magic Bullet and filled it to the top with cold water. Gave it a whizz and boom. Breakfast.

The taste is really chocolatey. Think thin, barely sweetened brownie batter. The texture is exactly like crepe batter for the top 90%. Then there is the bottom which if you aren’t constantly shaking your cup, accumulates this crazy layer of oats and sadness. All that said, I really do like the idea of a Soylent esque product using Canadian milk and that is soy free (gross).

Overall Rating

Product                     Taste             Texture              Price

Soylent 2.0 Cocoa       7/10                 9/10                      😦

Hol Food Powder       8/10                 7/10                      🙂

At four Hol Foods a day I feel full, healthy, and overall good. Just like I did with Soylent. This kind of food just works for me I think.

I went ahead and placed an order for next month where I plan to live off this stuff like I did Soylent 2.0. They just launched vanilla the day I ordered so I will update with that. They also mentioned an upcoming update to the original formula.

Although my first order shipped in two days, it has now been two business days and my product has not yet shipped. Hoping this is a delay only because of the new vanilla product launch.

OVERALL I am sold on Hol Food for now, and will keep buying. That said, if Soylent re-launches in Canada I will likely go back unless Hol Food steps up their variety of choices. I’m not hurting for my liquid food anymore though, and I’m absolutely loving the cost of Hol Food and looking forward to all their product updates!

Buy Hol Food Chocolate

 

Buy Hol Food Vanilla